The Adeptus Comicus

Posted by Ranillon on 1. April 2010 17:49

It started during the last Black Crusade when the Imperial World of Spamicus -- a major agri-world that supplied pre-packaged food for the entire sector -- fell in a single day.  This was bad enough, but then the Lords of Terra discovered that it had fallen without a single shot being fired!  Rumors spread of a new terrible chaos weapon that reduced even the most resolute Imperial defenders to quivering masses.
 
It took months of investigation and research to even figure out the basic nature of the weapon.  It was an ancient tactic of war called a "Joke", something with the terminally unfunny Imperium of Man had not encountered in millennia.  Worse, a new Chaos Lord named "Fabius Smile" had perfected the technique and was now using it to conquer world after world.  As soldiers of the God Emperor had in the past been executed for daring to show anything but remorseless despair over their worthless lives mankind had few if any defenses against this new insidious chaos attack.

Actual Image of Chaos Fiend
(Note that the Adeptus Comicus directs you to immediately summit yourself to the nearest indoctrination camp should you smile at this image.  If you actually laugh suicide is recommended).

Scrambling to deal with this new menace legions of Imperial Archivists searched through long ignored records until one of them stumbled upon a codex of ancient comedic wisdom called "101 Knock-Knock Jokes."  Blessed with this new source of divine guidance the Lords of Terra directed that a new agency be created to combat the scourge of Fabius Smile, one that would echo down through history as the "Adeptus Comicus."

It took many years of work and toil to perfect the litany of sacred comedy routines that would turn the Adeptus Comicus into the deadly organization we all now fear and secretly laugh at.  Early attempts to improve laughter quotients through the liberal application of summary executions were eventually found to be counter-productive, although the development of the Blessed Laugh Track managed to mitigate these effects.  Later rituals such as "Who's on Trial First" or "Disco Boogie of Death" were more successful, but real headway did not come until the discovery of a long lost Standard Template Construct entitled "Situational Comedy."  This in turn produced such frightful video weapons as "Gilligan's Prison", "Married with Mutants", and the classic "Un-Happy Days".

Laugh.  Now.